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Focusing on Your Frustrations Slows You Down – Focus on This Instead to Make Progress

June 27, 2022 By EMI

This is a guest post by Jeff Perry, MBA

“You are your own worst critic.” We hear this a lot, but does it have to be true? Do we always have to be so hard on ourselves as we try to make progress and reach new goals?

Goal setting, resolutions, making progress, and reflection are things many people do at the turn of a new year. Yet many people set goals only to not reach them, and get demoralized and stop trying.

So how do we actually find happiness in our lives and careers?

The answer: Lack of happiness, frustration, burnout, and dissatisfaction are driven mostly by focusing on The Gap — the difference between where we are now vs. the ideal that we want to be true. This focus gets us spending so much time feeling that sense of lack — “I’m not good enough, I don’t have enough, things will never be how I want them to be…” And on and on.

So how do we turn it around?

Focus on The Gain — the progress we’ve made, how we have improved, feeling gratitude, and more.

What Are The Gap and The Gain?

“The way to measure your progress is backward against where you started, not against your ideal.”
~ Dan Sullivan

The idea for The Gap and The Gain first came from Dan Sullivan, founder of the Strategic Coach, who has recently partnered with Benjamin Hardy to create a book about the concept.

The basic idea is this: When you are in The Gap, you are measuring your current state against the ideal, always seeing there to be a gap no matter how successful you are at this point. When you are in The Gap, you feel like you haven’t accomplished anything at all because the ideal is a moving target. This gets you feeling like you have failed, wasted time, or continuing to fall further behind.

Alternatively, when you are in The Gain, you are measuring the progress you have made from where you used to be. The wins, the people you’ve met, the things you have learned, the growth of relationships, financial progress, and more. This focus allows you to have a sense of having achieved something and will motivate you to go achieve even more!

Getting Away from the Ideal

This focus on the ideal is what keeps you in The Gap. The ideal can be looked at in a few different ways:

Your conception of what is perfect
An idea that exists only in the imagination — it’s desirable, but not very likely
An ever-moving target of success that you are always shooting for but never reaching

Instead of focusing on the ideal, you can instead make more progress by having appropriate goals:

The object of ambition or effort
A desired result
A specific, measurable, and time-bound outcome that you seek

Yet it’s more than just whether you accomplish your goal or not. You need to measure, track, and report your progress along the way compared to where you were when you decided on your goal.

For example, in 2021 I set a goal that I wanted to increase my vertical jump and dunk a basketball by August 2021. I’m 6’3″ and feel like I’m tall enough to be able to do this, but my entire life I have never had the hops to make it happen. So I set the goal, bought a jump training program, and started doing the exercises.

Yet along the way I had some injuries that kept me from staying consistent and reaching the eventual goal. I didn’t do it.

Was everything lost? I felt that way for a while and was quite disappointed. I was in The Gap. But looking back, I learned a lot about the process, technique, and the approach to exercising. I learned things that will help me avoid injuries in the future. And I built some new habits that have made me healthier in other ways.

I still made progress, and I can keep reaching for the eventual goal. Seeing that progress keeps me motivated, and it keeps me in The Gain.

I still can make the eventual goal of dunking a reality (working on it)!

Are You Already ‘Living the Dream?’

Think about this for a moment: Did you ever have goals in your life to be doing what you are doing right now? To have a great job, to have completed your degree, to get accepted into an educational program, to own a home, to have a car, or something else?

Could it be possible that you are already “living the dream”?

That’s the amazing thing about looking back — we can see what we used to have as important to us, and sometimes we have met or exceeded those expectations.

More progress will come in time as well!

I had to take stock of this recently. Early in my process of starting my company, More Than Engineering, I stated I wanted to “get paid to help people.” I loved helping people move through mindset shifts and reaching big goals, but this was just an idea and I wasn’t sure how to make it a reality.

But a while back, as I reflected on where I am at now, I had to kind of pinch myself. I am doing it! I get to work with amazing people, teach ideas that transform lives, and in essence, get paid to help people.

I am living the dream!

Sure, there are a lot of ways I can continue to improve, grow, and impact even more people, and I’m setting goals for those things. But I can enjoy how far I’ve come and how far my clients have come as well!

Take Action to Get to The Gain

Ever since I learned about The Gap and The Gain, I have been doing a journaling exercise on a quarterly basis to bring it to the forefront of my mind, and I invite you to do the same.

Take 15-30 minutes and complete the following activity, using 5-10 minutes for each item.

What wins or gains have I had in the last 30 days? Who have I met? What have I learned? How have I made progress? How have I changed?
Do the same for the last 90 days.
Do the same for the past year.

Just make a bulleted list. Once you’ve written these things down, look over the lists and experience a sense of gratitude for how far you’ve come.

I promise if you do this, you’ll come out of it in a more positive mindset and motivated to tackle more challenges and opportunities!

More Resources to Accelerate Your Career

If you want to see a quick video of me talking about The Gap and The Gain, check out the video link below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEm-iXs2doM

Additionally, I highly recommend you pick up a copy of the book and read it — see how it transforms you! Here is the link to get your copy: The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers’ Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

About Jeff Perry, MBA

Jeff Perry is a leadership/career coach for engineers, building mindsets, leadership, and career intentions to unlock hidden potential and remove self-imposed roadblocks for career and life. For years, he has had the pleasure of supporting engineers and software pros, from new grads to director level. Having been on the front lines in the technical world, he has been able to map out the necessary skills for becoming a quality leader in the field.

You can connect with Jeff on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffcperry/ or visit his website, https://morethan-engineering.com. Jeff also has a new, FREE, on-demand training course for engineers who are job searching or in job transitions. You can see it at https://engineeringcareeraccelerator.com.

New To Technical Leadership?

The transition from individual contributor to technical leader is a difficult one. Jeff put together a FREE, 90-day guide for those moving through this transition to help them be as successful as possible. You can get it here: https://morethan-engineering.com/career-clarity

Please leave your comments, feedback or questions in the section below on what you think about The Gap and The Gain approach.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider downloading our free list of 33 Productivity Routines of Top Engineering Executives. Click the button below to download.

Download the Productivity Routines

To your success,

Anthony Fasano, PE, LEED AP
Engineering Management Institute
Author of Engineer Your Own Success

3 Ways to Use Your Calendar to Make the Most Out of Your Workweek

June 20, 2022 By EMI

This is a guest post by Jacob Valentien, PE

Do you feel like you have too much work and a too little week? Does your work sometimes spill into late nights or even weekends? Know that you are not alone and that throughout your career, you will often have to recalibrate your approach to optimize your workload. Obtaining a healthy balance is a very hard thing to obtain.

In one of my previous blog posts, I wrote about different ways to trigger flow state and to enhance productivity in the moment. Triggering the flow state is one thing, but knowing the best times to try to trigger it is probably the most important. Are you most productive in the mornings, after lunch, at the end of the day? It takes some self-awareness along with trial and error to figure this out, but it is important that you do.

This post provides three simple tips to organize your calendar around those flow state moments so that you can get the most out of your workweek.

Tip 1 – Block off Time on Your Calendar to Accomplish Tasks

Hiring for Skills Becoming Popular Tactic for Engineering Firms

June 15, 2022 By EMI

This is a guest post by Zane Pucylowski , P.E.

Most people think that one of the first things all managers look at when hiring employees is their level of education. This line of thinking is becoming outdated. Employers are often seeking employees who have the skills for the job over education. Having a degree in the field is not the only key factor any longer. An employee with job skills and hands-on training is often more in demand than a person who only has a degree in the field.

Many times, a person having the right set of skills is more beneficial for the business than only having a degree. Teachers and parents have been preaching to students for decades the importance of getting a degree. That way of thinking has shifted in recent years. Well-known CEOs like Elon Musk and Jeff Weiner have gone on record many times saying companies need to pay more attention to skill sets than degrees.

A New Way of Thinking

The Art of Asking Fearless Questions as an Engineer

June 13, 2022 By EMI

This is a guest blog by Pamela A. Scott

For quite some time, I’ve been harping on the need to ask good questions. Regardless of where you are in your engineering career, I am confident that you would benefit from amping up your questioning skills. To do that, keep reading.

Many of us think we’re asking questions when what we’re really doing is recommending how to solve a problem. I learned that from 15 years in Vistage, an organization that provides coaching and peer advisers for CEOs.

The Vistage questioning process went like this. James, CEO of a medium-sized engineering firm, shared his problem with his Vistage group.

Questioning or Recommending?

“I’m stuck on what to do with a couple of employees who seem to be showing up just so they can collect a paycheck. Their poor attitude and laziness is impacting other employees. I’d get rid of them, but I can’t find someone to replace them. I don’t know what to do.”

At that point, the other members in the group asked questions to help James with his problem. What typically happened was those members didn’t ask questions; they made recommendations disguised as questions.

“Have you thought about . . .”
“What if you . . .”
“Have you tried . . .”

Instead of those, ask

What options are you considering?
Who do you know who could help with this situation?
What outcome do you want?

Challenge Yourself to Ask Fearless Questions

Recently I listened to a session with two experts on asking questions. Leadership gurus Hal Gregersen from MIT and Amy Edmondson from Harvard offered great insights on the power of questions. I’d like to share a few with you.

Be Curious

“Curiosity leads to the desire to know and learn more, which leads to more creative solutions and better operating results,” according to the Center for Compassionate Leadership.

When you’re curious, your mind is active. Your brain seeks answers for why something is or what something is. Your world expands as you explore what you don’t know. It’s fun.

As Amy Edmonson said, “We’re rolling up our sleeves and learning together.” We’re on a quest.

“In the word ‘question,’ there is a beautiful word — quest. I love that word. We are all partners in a quest.” –Elie Wiesel, Nobel laureate and Holocaust survivor

Want to work on your curiosity? Check out this source.

Be a ‘Don’t Knower’

Young engineering professionals often get mired in the belief that they have to know everything. They should embrace this attitude from Eileen Fisher, entrepreneur and clothing designer:

“I’ve always been a ‘don’t knower’,” she said. “I’ve always been very comfortable saying, ‘I don’t know.’ As a result, there’s a sense of openness. When you don’t know and you’re really listening intently, people want to help you. They want to share.”

Be Fearless

In his book “Questions Are the Answer,” Hal Gregersen encourages us to ask fearless questions that challenge us. Be willing to be wrong, to confront what makes you uncomfortable.

Great questions break down assumptions, Gregersen writes. And great questions also excite and engage us.

For more on asking great and fearless questions, check out these links:

About the Author Pamela A. Scott

Pam is an executive coach to CEOs and business owners, focusing on communication, managing people, leadership, and emotional intelligence. Her tagline says it best: “Numbers may drive the business, but people drive the numbers.”^®

Pam started her company more than 20 years ago. For much of that time, Pam has coached engineers and architects to be leaders in their companies.

She brings more than 25 years of communications expertise and leadership experience as:

A national award-winning newspaper editor
A communications specialist writing for Congress
A successful entrepreneur specializing in coaching clients to reach their full potential

Clients have ranged from solo practitioners to companies such as Turner Broadcasting System, Coca Cola, Federal Reserve Bank, and engineering firms such as Walter P. Moore. For 15 years, Pam was a member of Vistage, an international organization of CEOs.

Pam has a master’s in education and human development from George Washington University and a bachelor’s in communication from Bethany College. In Toastmasters, she has achieved Advanced Communicator Bronze and Advanced Leadership Bronze levels.

We would love to hear any questions you might have or stories you might share on asking fearless questions as an engineer.

Please leave your comments, feedback or questions in the section below.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider downloading our free list of 33 Productivity Routines of Top Engineering Executives. Click the button below to download.

Download the Productivity Routines

To your success,

Anthony Fasano, PE, LEED AP
Engineering Management Institute
Author of Engineer Your Own Success

Three Steps to Make the Most of Your Decisions

June 6, 2022 By EMI

This is a guest blog by Gina Covarrubias

When it comes to decision-time, do you go all in, or do you spend time waffling and floundering? Learn what you can do to make the most of any decision you make!

1. Commitment vs. Giving Up

Sadly, we sit all too often in a state of doubt, self-defeat, or regret after making a decision. It is so tempting to think, “Oh no, was that the right decision? What if I made the wrong choice, etc.?” The agonies that come along with a what-if mentality can leave your self-esteem lacking and your energy depleted.

I’d like to offer a more useful three-step approach you can apply when it comes to your decision-making skills.

How to Use Personal Branding to Build Your Engineering Career

May 30, 2022 By EMI

This is a guest post by Tiffani Teachey

Building a successful career as an engineer is essential to establishing yourself as a credible expert in your field. One of the best ways to do this is through personal branding. By creating a solid personal brand, you can make yourself visible and recognizable within your industry, which can help you stand out from the competition and lead to more excellent opportunities for advancement. If you’re looking to build your engineering career, using personal branding is a strategy you should consider!

This post will discuss how personal branding can help engineers reach their career goals. We’ll also provide tips on how to get started with personal branding. So, if you’re ready to take your engineering career to the next level, keep reading!

“You can be sure others do it for you if you’re not branding yourself.” ~ Unknown

Here are three ways to use personal branding to build your engineering career:

Learning to Lead and Succeed with ‘SFA’: Success From Anywhere

May 23, 2022 By EMI

This is a guest post by Peter C. Atherton, P.E.

COVID forced “work from home.” Then evolved the idea of “work from anywhere” – whether that be home, a local café, or other workspace.

As we work through the sometimes half-hearted attempts to bring our employees back to the office, the organizational development and talent attraction and retention idea that I believe will stick is “SFA” – success from anywhere.

What is SFA, and how can we make this work, especially among “back to the past” forces within us that have very likely already cost us in terms of missed opportunity and preparedness for our inevitable future state?

Let’s leave the resistance to SFA aside for a moment (or at least until the link at the bottom of this article) because even the skeptics and the naysayers recognize the competitive disadvantages of not offering some type of work flexibility in this employee-driven market — hence the half-hearted and tempered calls for a full return to the office.

5 Things We’ve Learned from the Civil Engineering CEO Show

May 16, 2022 By EMI

This is a guest blog by Leanna Michniuk from BigTime Software

Good advice is invaluable. And for engineers, hearing advice from leaders in their industry can provide new ways of thinking and even a boost of confidence and reassurance in their work. BigTime Software recently partnered with the Engineering Management Institute as a founding sponsor of the show, The Civil Engineering CEO show, that features interviews with CEOs of leading civil engineering firms on important industry topics. The goal of the show has been to connect engineers with industry leaders to hear their firsthand advice on important topics. The CEOs who have appeared on the show have done just that by sharing with us how they are approaching some of today’s challenges and opportunities including the talent shortage, the abundance of infrastructure work, the hybrid work environment, and more.

Because there have been so many great words of wisdom and amazing guests on the show, we thought we would share the top five things we’ve learned from The Civil Engineering CEO show so far. Keep on reading to hear some sage advice from pros who have lived it themselves.
[Read more…] about 5 Things We’ve Learned from the Civil Engineering CEO Show

The Power of a Personal Brand for Engineering Managers

May 9, 2022 By EMI

This is a guest post by Patrick Sweet, P.Eng., MBA, PMP, CSEP

Whether you realize it or not, you have a brand. This may come as a surprise to you. After all, you’re an engineering manager, and not some sort of company or a product. But it’s true. In fact, everyone has a brand. Everyone is known for something among their friends and colleagues. The real question is not so much whether you have a brand but rather what it is, whether you’re managing it, and whether you’re taking advantage of it in your career.

Back to Basics: What Is a Brand?

The best way to think of a brand is that it’s a summary of who you are, what you do, and what you believe in. In other words, your brand is the shorthand way the world thinks about you.

In the business world, brands are manicured and managed with precision. Volvo, for instance, prides itself on making some of the safest cars in the world, and they promote that fact about themselves. They want to be known as the “safe car” company in the minds of their customers and potential customers. Walmart, on the other hand, has a strong brand tied to saving people money. Both are very different, but very strong brands.

To help brands stick in the minds of their customers, companies use things like logos, slogans, jingles, color pallets, fonts, and many other devices to communicate their brand.

Branding is incredibly important when it comes to positioning a company. It makes it easier for a customer to link an organization or product to a need they have. The easier it is to make that link, the more likely the customer will chose a particular solution.

The Power of Branding for Individuals

Building Your Personal Brand as a Problem Solver: The Right Message at the Right Time

May 2, 2022 By EMI

This is a guest blog by Carl Friesen

Being recognized as a problem solver in your organization, profession, or industry can bring big rewards. These include distinguishing yourself from people who just focus on performing a task. As a result, you can earn more respect from the people you work with. You have more control over the work you do, who you do it for, and how much you’re paid.

But to gain that reputation as a problem solver, you’ll need to gain buy-in for your proposed solutions from the people you work with. To do that, you need to communicate your ideas in terms understandable to those you need to convince. This applies whether you’re trying to “sell” your idea to one person — your supervisor — or convince thousands by writing an article for a national publication.

Just like living beings, ideas have a lifespan, and to get buy-in you need to work with that fact.